Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Goals and How You Achieve Them All The Time - Time To Achieve The Ones You Want!

Can You Truly Design You Life?

Yes Yes Yes! You have already done it! You are living the result of your beliefs about yourself and your dreams. If you aren't happy with where you are - chances are likely that you have a limiting self belief and a mis-match of issues and ambition going on. Well I'm an expert at helping to re-align and get you to where you want to be!

From the study of the mind and application of techniques in Hypnosis and NLP when working with clients to help them realise and achieve their goals - I know that your unconscious mind is listening to your conscious mind for direction all the time and will provide you with evidence.

Ever heard the phrase - Be Careful What You Ask For- You Might Get it?

The same is true for - Be Careful What You Tell Yourself- You Might Believe it! And we have all had things we have believed about ourselves that have held us back. It's not the person saying it to us or the event - but then what we tell ourselves about ourselves. When the negatives are out of the way and you have a clear run - things can happen at such a speed because time is only a small factor in achieving goals - it's not linear!

I'm going to share how I achieved one of my most significant goals and one that I used to calibrate how I achieve my goals successfully. You will have one like this too - something you wanted and something you achieved!

Years ago, I have a clear distinct memory. Funny thing that. We slightly change our memories organically every time we draw them up. However, I do remember watching Judy Garland in the film 'Meet me In St Louis'. It was probably a weekend. It was probably on a Sunday afternoon and my father was definitely there. He loved the old musicals and he particularly loved Al Jolson and Judy Garland. He would often encourage me to watch them with him and we had a appreciation together that was lovely to share.

I was sitting in front of the television on the floor. Being the youngest, that was my natural place in the hierarchy and being this close to the television, I noticed the nuances of her performance and the TV being slightly higher in my vision it was a perfect position to be tranced into a learning dreaming state. 
I also remember the look on my father's face when Judy sang a particular song well or made a comic reactive turn that he'd like. I began imitating her and actually realised I could hold a good tune, I had an ear for accents and I could make them laugh so due to the reactions of my family, I could recreate some of the reactions I'd seen my father give to her. Now this may not have been an instigating factor in why I wanted to be an actress. I was certainly making up films and characters in my head and in my bedroom long before I knew it had a job title attached to it. But watching the pleasure my father got from the brilliance of Judy Garland, I knew that if he was impressed with her - then I could do similar and impress him too. I also absolutely loved playing with it and had been practicing characters and films in my little universe for some time by that point. 

After a while my family took note. I liked doing this and I had a natural affinity towards it. I was good at it they saw and one day I heard the words RADA. In fact most of the actors I was being exposed to as classically great and good went there. I decided I was also going to go there. I'd been acting in school and singing in a choir and things were moving at a pace and I was becoming impatient. Why couldn't I go.

Now my family knew better than to scoff at my intentions. I was wilful and determined. If there was a tree my brother and father were climbing - well I was going up it to! Nothing and nobody could stand in my way.

I declared I was going to go and my mum explained I was too young but agreed I could call them and enquire. She got me the yellow pages (showing my age now, this was years before the internet was available) and she helped me flick through. They weren't there. RADA was in a place called London. I was from a small village south of Manchester called Romily. My mother found the number and handed it to me to call. So, I put my finger in the round dial and began to ring the number.

I asked for the headmaster! I declared, that "I was going to come to RADA and how do I get there?" A lovely lady called Val answered and was kindly telling me about the school and looked forward to seeing me there when i was old enough.. Years later when I walked through the door on my first day, I met Val and reminded her of the call. I doubt she remembered but in her warm way chuckled as if I may not have been the first determined youngster.

When you want something badly enough - reason rarely comes into it. Also timespan seems to bend or fade...Sure it can take time to achieve them but time is not the reason you don't. In goal setting we aren't working in LINEAR TIME!

Now I tell you this because I achieved my intention and attended the acting course. Quite an achievement for me.

Now, we weren't rich. My father had died two years previously. I then had the task of finding what amounted to £30,000 for living and training costs for the three years. This didn't even compute with me. In fact it barely registered. My mother seemed fraught with worry over it. 

I had absolutely no worry what so ever. As far as I was concerned I was going and that was that!

In fact, looking back on it, my naivety probably helped me achieve this goal. In my green view of the workings of money - it would appear and I would go and everything would be fine. I had such utter drive. I dreamt about going. I ate, slept and longed for it. My A-levels were a mere distraction. My tutors told me I should not set my hopes up - I knew better. I just knew I was going. As soon as I walked into the first audition at the Royal Exchange in Manchester for the northern auditions for the school, I felt a rush of destiny and a 'calling' in tunnel vision as I remember it. I do know that felt calmly excited and thrilled to be given my opportunity. I was going. So hearing the money might stop me felt ridiculous. Of course it would happen!

Years later - I took careful memory note of the feelings of this moment- the drive, the ambition and I anchored it! I often use this state as well as others I have anchored to help me achieve other things! It's an NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming trick that is a key factor in how you can also achieve your goals in the future!

An image before graduation in 1997 on the Vanbrugh Stage at RADA (I'm second from right)

I did however do everything I could to get there. Yes, my dad had died and we had lost his business and things were worrying for my mum and the magnitude of this I only learnt years later. We were lucky to still have a roof over our heads. My mum did a lot of letter writing, I wrote letters to actors who were famous that I loved and thought might be rich and inclined to write a cheque for my training. I sang and performed and held fund raisers. Manchester United gave me memorabilia to sell to put towards the training. I went onto the radio GMR for Greater Manchester and talked to a DJ about it, I later talked to them again in response to a Counsellor to attempt to shame them into encouraging the talent of the city - when only that year they had been awarded City Of Arts - I leveraged this to appeal "this year Manchester is the country's City of Arts - why not encourage me, a teenager from Manchester, to excel in the arts and represent my home city at the best drama school in the world? SO, PAY FOR ME TO GO!". My tenacity won out. They did pay in the end! They gave me a grant. All in all - I got to go there and I loved it. "See", I thought. "It was always going to happen".

Now, I tell you all of this because like you, I knew what I wanted and I achieved it. Against the odds. We have ALL done it. We have all achieved something - from passing the driving test, to achieving exam results, to landing on the skate board jumping over the log on the ground, to successfully getting the horse over the fence perfectly and winning the rosette. We have also 'achieved' what you think about in terms of actually gaining weight which might be the opposite of what you want - dreaming about the cream cake, going to the shop, buying it, eating it - seeing the difference. It works both ways.

Have you ever had a goal and achieved it? Yes!
Have you ever had a goal and NOT achieved it? Yes!
The difference is what will set you free.

From studying HOW I achieve my goals - the mind set, the energy, the intention, the thoughts, the dreaming, the visualisation - and boy did I keep visualising myself on stage and at the school - I watched all the footage I could if the school was on the television or if an actor like Richard Attenbrough came on TV I watched them! I later got to meet him, a late associate of the school he shared my passion and knew of the drive I spoke of.

If you set a goal do you think you are likely to achieve it if you are negative about the process or outcome?   Unlikely. What is likely is that you'll not achieve it.

Similarly - day-dreaming and visualising a hiccup and reason why it won't happen will let your unconscious mind to provide you with the evidence to support this.

When I work with actors, business people, weight-loss clients - on any goal, we absolutely MUST eliminate all negative beliefs and thoughts. All aspects of the goal-setting and goal-making process are examined and we set to work. The client has the exciting homework of dreaming about their goal, visualising about it, making it perfection, repeating the process, raising any negative thoughts then together we eliminate them. I coach them until they achieve it and this is a 6 hour process sometimes I'm asked to work with them for longer than this and then it becomes very detailed. The client really begins to learn the process to apply in all aspects of their life.

Your conscious mind sets your goal to perfection. Your unconscious mind gets it you!

Now this also doesn't happen in a linear planned way.

It's like wanting a new car - you pick a car and you suddenly see it everywhere on the road. You but a new colour of clothing and suddenly you notice that colour in more places. You mind filters out what isn't important. Well similarly its like that with goals. You firstly need to work out exactly what you want - so the opportunities you create work for you to achieve exactly that!

You can design your life. You can absolutely get what you want. The only thing stopping you is you! SO, get out of your own way and take the first step to achieving it. Have a dream!

From Jobs, to Cars, To Boats! To relationships and lifestyles. It's yours for the designing. Now - sure - we can all dream, but there are also important factors to apply. There is a process. A carefully designed, tested process. The steps must be followed. It includes taking action. Now, I wrote the letters, I sang and performed to raise money, I went on the radio.
Yes I believed it would happen. I also knew, somehow, that I should do everything in my power to make it happen, because I wasn't going to leave it to chance or to someone else! That is a significant difference. In the goals I achieve, this for me is a major factor. Acting on it!

And one more thing - make sure your goal is something you truly want - something that makes your heart lift! Something you can realistically achieve - you might want world domination stroking a cat on your lap like a 'Bond' villain - its also got to be Ethical! The kind of dream that others won't object to ethically.  Get dreaming and give me a call to know the secret steps!

Contact me and I can help you achieve success. I work with clients using Hypnosis and NLP Hypnotherapy for Smoking, Life Coaching, Weight Loss, Anxiety, Phobias and much more,  in Marylebone, London W1 and Central Manchester for Health-Success, the success of you mind, your life, and your goals!

Please visit my website at www.health-success.co.uk